I'm so frustrated!

10 weeks. I was told 10 weeks of acupuncture would do the trick. Well 10 weeks later, I'm still not pregnant. Why is it that everyone knows somebody that has done something that got them pregnant? Why is it that I listen to any of these people? Am I really that desperate? Ben and I want a baby so bad but to what expense? Our savings is gone, emotionally we are drained, physically burning the candle at both ends, our faith- still holding out, for Ben at least. I have tried so hard to handle myself with grace and not be a hot mess all the time and hopefully I have have but this is me being a hot mess, OK!? I don't know how much more I can take. I don't want anymore fertility treatments, tried that 5 times and $5000+ later, still not pregnant. Tried not thinking about it and taking break, free but not pregnant. tried going back to school and teaching aerobics to "get my mind focused on other things" several thousand dollars in tuition, stressed out, in good shape, but still not pregnant (this I don't regret). Now acupuncture and chiropractic care, 3 months of back cracks, needles, and cups and to my knowledge still not pregnant. I need to refocus again. I need to relax (easier said than done). I plan on continuing school and teaching group fitness because those are actually helping me. But what's in store for us in the future? Only God knows. I really wish he would let me in on a glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel. My mom always says, " you won't know on this side of heaven why you are going through this right now but it will be worth it". Mom's are almost always right but like I told her " it's hard to see the forest for the trees". It's hard to see all the blessings we do have because we don't have the one we pray for everyday. In the meantime, I have Izzy, who, by the way, is the most rotten, spoiled brat ever. So here's to pressing on even when giving up sounds like the best mental health option. After years of counseling, I've learned how to counsel myself out of a nervous breakdown so for now, I'm still sane. Till next time...