Hallelujah Dinner

I had the opportunity to speak at the women's dinner at church last night. When I was asked to speak about our miracle baby, I started praying for God to speak through me. I knew my friend Ashley was going through a similar struggle so I invited her to the dinner. We have been friends since high school and have always kept in touch. She was so excited and so supportive. I couldn't wait to see what God had to say to her and everyone else. I felt good about speaking because people need to know about God's great works. Also, even though you know you are not alone in the infertility battle, you feel alone. I wanted people to know that nothing is impossible with God. I didn't go into great detail about all the doctors and procedures and tests that we went through. I only had 10 minutes to speak. I made sure to joke a little. I am kindof funny and I like to lighten the mood. Plus, it is an exciting story with a happy ending! My main goal of the speech was to encourage those going through the same thing we did. I wanted them to know that it's not easy but it's not impossible. I wanted to tell them that my faith wavered but God put people in my life to encourage me when I needed it. Lastly, I wanted them to know that you can't ever give up on your prayers. If we ask God for something, we need to ask Him expecting it to happen. It is so hard to live this when you feel so defeated and disappointed but it is so wonderful to see what God does with your life when you make it through a struggle. Looking back, the Lord answered all of my prayers. He gave me peace when I needed it. He gave me strength to persevere and continue to take up my cross everyday. He showed me mercy. One of the ladies last night made me realize just how merciful God is. She said that God showed me mercy by giving us a baby at the perfect time. We have about 12 ladies expecting babies in our church right now, 2 in my Sunday School class. She said imagine not being pregnant and having everyone around you at church expecting a baby. I had never thought about that but she is so right. God is so merciful. He also gave me grace. I asked Him to help me handle myself with grace throughout this whole journey. I felt like a hot mess most of the time but to everyone else I seemed like the most faithful, patient, and graceful women they had seen. People asked me how I could be so patient and all could say was, God. It's amazing to see what he has done in my life and my husband's life. His timing is perfect and I wouldn't change anything. I am thankful that I was chosen to bear this burden. I am thankful that I have the confidence to speak about it. My hope and prayer is that I can help other women make it through the infertility struggle.

Pregnancy symptoms

When I found out I was pregnant, I was ready for any symptom that came my way. People always say that the sicker you are, the healthier your baby is. Well I was really sick. I started with the all day sickness about week 7. Then continued with night sickness until about week 17. I lost 10 pounds during the first trimester! Next thing is bra size. I went from a 36 D to a 38 DD and now a 38 F! How about they don't sell my bra size at the maternity store. I had to settle for a 40 E. What is that? I don't even want to know what size my boobs will be when my milk comes in. Pregnancy amnesia or placenta brain. Kind of good when you want to forget how sick you have been but bad when you can't put a sentence together because you can't remember simple vocabulary words. Ben and I have gotten the biggest kick out of my forgetfulness. We have had conversations and I have no recollection of what he is talking about. Also, my brain won't process things like it used to. Sometimes people will be talking to me or explaining something to me and I can't understand what they are telling me. I have had to ask so many people to repeat themselves because I have no idea what they just said. Luckily we can all laugh about it. The best thing has been my enjoyment of food. The best story I have is from Krispy Kreme. Who doesn't love a hot fresh donut? Ben and I were on our way home and I said if the hot sign was on, I wanted to stop and get 2 donuts. Both for me of course! So we went in and they said it would be 3 minutes before the hot ones would be ready. No problem. I watched those donuts ride up and down the conveyor belt, drop into the hot oil, flip over, and then ride through the sheet of glaze. They were so hot, I almost burned my mouth but they were sooooo good. Ben and I talked about how fun it will be to bring our son to Krispy Kreme and watch the donuts. It is so exciting to think of all the fun stuff we can do with him as he grows up. There are other symptoms that I am choosing not to include because I either want to forget them or just leave this post on a high note. Some things just aren't worth talking about. I have tried very hard not to complain about any symptom. My only complaint so far has been my tailbone pain but I am still enjoying every minute of it!

25 weeks pregnant

Pregnancy has been everything I expected and then some. I expected some nausea. Pregnancy nausea was relentless and slightly debilitating. I finally got some medicine after I lost several pounds and was unable to eat or drink anything. Zofran was a life saver. I did not gain the usual holiday weight last year because I could barely stomach a cracker. I made it through and tried very hard to enjoy every symptom, good and bad. I had all day sickness for about 12 weeks and then night sickness until 17 weeks. I lost 10 pounds in the first trimester but at this point I have put on 19 pounds. It has been weird to see my body stretch and grow in different directions but at same time, it has been amazing and so much fun.